Tips to fail in an interview

Everytime we get tips on how to pass an interview, how to release our most potential charms to the interviewers. But how about when we just go for an interview to test the market, or just to waste time, or just.. going for fun but we do not want this job? Here I give you some tips :

Tip #1
Park you vehicle at the manager's parking lot. You will get the guard waiting for you when you come back from the interview. If the guard stops you before you get to go in, mumble something in spanish or japanese in fast mode and just walk in, not giving the guard a chance to talk. Smile broadly and say you do not speak english.

Tip #2
Be late for your interview. Give whatever reason like my gold fish has just given birth or you couldn't find your lucky teddy bear which you must bring together wherever you go. Take up your teddy bear and use your teddy to wave to them as you say these. And greet them with "Oi Oi".

Tip #3
Forget your notes, forget your glasses, forget your resumes. Better still, forget to bring money and tell them you have to borrow some from them to go home.

Tip #4
Dress your character. If you are a rock person, don't forget the metal chain around your neck. People always like someone with a character. If you have tatoo on your backside, flaunt it.

Tip #5
Delete important files in the computer if you are given a machine to work with. Screw up whatever machine they let you to work on, may it be just a photocopy machine. Press any buttons you like and giggle as you do it.

Tip #6
Eat if you are hungry. Don't be shy. Take out your nasi lemak and eat while they are asking you questions. If you don't mind sharing, do ask them if they want to have a bite. This is to be polite.

Tip #7
If you get bored in the interview room, start to imagine things. You can imagine the interviewers as aliens, or some cartoon character talking, or better still you can imagine them naked. If they are the gender of the opposite sex and they are gorgeous, you will be drooling. However, if they are not up to your definition of attractiveness, you will have a good time giggling.

I hope you get a good lesson from this and may put it into use. Pass this techniques around. It's always good to share.